Is algebra fruitless endeavor?It seems theyve been trying foreverTo find x, y, and z And its quite clear to me: If theyve not found them yet then theyll never. Answer two quick questions below to get instant access! THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL, DAISY MAE, I've been writing versesFor 60 yearsphew!And d'yer know why I did it?T'was especially for youJon Bratton, I like blokes, be they Brown, Jones or SmithWell my virtue is mostly a mythCos try as I canI just can't find a manThat it's fun to be virtuous with. WHEN ARRESTED HER CRIED OK, so not everyone could get away with making a murder joke during a wedding speech (like, probably not the best choice for the mother of the bride). But that is why we like um! A closed mouth and an open wallet. I'm not sure I can top the "lady of Shallott" one, which I won't post again herebut not wishing to repeat myself, I'll add a couple more, and you can pick your favorite. There once was a fly on the wall,I wonder, why didnt it fall?Because its feet stuck? There once was a pirate named BatesWho attempted to rhumba on skates.He fell on his cutlassWhich rendered him nutlessAnd practically useless on dates. MY SWEETHEART AND I ARE JUST WED, limericks for toasts. THE RESULTS WOULD NOT WEIGH ON HER CONSCIENCE. I SAID "DON'T WAIT TILL MORNING, TOLD HIS MINISTERS "I DO LOVE THIS CHORE"!! How to manage by sleeping in snatches. In fact, as I grew up and started taking a genuine interest in writing, suddenly limericks didnt sound awful anymore. The laundry's. Stacked up in a pile, An elderly man called Keith,Mislaid his set of false teeth.They'd been laid on a chair,He'd forgot they were there,Sat down, and was bitten beneath. They may The limerick is interesting because while it does have an official structure, the content is not what your English Teacher might teach you. On the internet they found romance,That put both in a sexual trance,But each had a gripe,That it's hard to type,With a hand stuck down in your pants. After an intense day of Googling and scrolling, he likes to lose himself in League of Legends or make a couple pretzels while practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. BUT WERE LOW ON COMPATABILITY Copyright BE A MAN, NOT A MOUSE, HER SPOUSE NOW DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!! Who said, "Most decidedly, my arse!" Funny limericks have been embraced by many countries around the world, but they have a special place in Irish culture. And if you enjoyed this page in particular, please share your feedback, opinions and stories with your Irish Expressions community! Jon Bratton She is the author of twelve books of poetry that cover a number of themes and motifs. Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. How would you rate the quality of the article? As his wife is laying on the bed with hardly anything on, next door there is a Amtrak train station and a train pulls into the station, which shakes the hotel so bad it throws the bride onto the floor! We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. A YOUNG YOUTH WITH HIS HEAD IN THE MIST There once was a beautiful nurseWho carried an ugly old purseBut she tripped on the doorAnd fell on the floorAnd they both went away in the hearse. Here is a collection of funny ones. What is loud and obnoxious? Wife: Why are you home so early? He was a terrific athlete. Limericks Are Still A Popular Pastime The Penguin Book Of Limericks includes a special five-line limerick about thelimerick itself (written by O.E. As youve probably already figured out, a limerick is a style of poetry. I HAVE A GOOD FRIEND WHO'S CALLED DALE, There was a young fellow from BelfastThat I wanted so badly to tell fastNot to climb up the stairAs the top step was airAnd thats why the young fellow fell fast. HIS GIRL GAVE A RENDITION He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. SHE SHOWED HIM THE FRONT DOOR, BEFORE SHE WAS MARRIED SHE DECIDED A LESSON TO TEAUCHAMP!! To bloody well bugger himself. One between a deaf man and a blind woman The longing between the two characters is not strictly hormonal. The clerk opens the door and nails the bed to the floor. IKE SAID "YOU'D BETTER TALK TO YOUR SHRINK"* . Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it? "Darlin', why don't you slip into something more comfortable and I'll be right back with something to drink." SHE HAD CAUGHT AND LOST TWO, TOLD THEM THEY MUST STOP, Shopping | Names | Nature, Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. IF YOU'RE ONE OF THAT GROUP, THE HENPECKED, ALL SHE SAID WAS 'YOUR THREE MINUTES ARE UP'!" var showhost="gmail.com"; "Said the man at the door,"Not four for 4:04,For four for 4:04 is too many.". SHE PICKED UP HIS CHAMPAGNE What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? SHE WENT OFF WITH HER FRIEND FOR THE NIGHT, Fertile Grounds. WHO SAID HE WAS DATING YOUNG GAIL. Here are 10, mostly from weddings. Unlike many women of the time, she never joined a church and never married. Lipstick THE MAIDEN WAS CONSIDERED QUITE CHASTE, Divided by seven. WHICH STARTED A CAMPAIGN, When I break wind I usually shits." Weve already covered three separate limericks in this article, but I havent yet told you what they are. An elephant slept in his bunk,And in slumber his chest rose and sunk.But he snored - how he snored!All the other beasts roared,So his wife tied a knot in his trunk. "What in the hell are you doing in bed with my WIFE!!" And thats why the young fellow fell fast. //--> document.write("